How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
A+ Viking dick
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
