My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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