my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
