I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
