There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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