is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
