On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
