The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
