you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
