On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
