I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
