I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
