I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
