And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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