she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
