I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
