at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
