champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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