Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
