i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
