okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i out mim tonsoeep
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