i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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