so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
