What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
