you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
