she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
