apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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