Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
