question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
