The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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