But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
