u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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