I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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