We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
