hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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