got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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