the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
