the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
