The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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