We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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