i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
