Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
