my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You did what with his pubic hair?
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