He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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