note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
