my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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