You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
