You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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