next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Can I color on your dick again?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
