i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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