Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
